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BatiGol Weekly 117: The world’s a mess, it’s in my kiss

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In which we discuss pessimism, expectations, and why Fiorentina winning is enough to give you an ulcer sometimes.

ACF Fiorentina v Udinese - Serie A
I could say it stronger but it’s too much trouble.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

If you’re a Fiorentina fan, you’re probably, at some level, a pessimist. That’s what happens when you support a club that’s perpetually lodged in some type of crisis. Maybe it’s the firesale of talented and beloved players, or maybe they’re just hurt. Maybe the owner and the fans are trading barbs in the press. Maybe the manager is Siniša Mihajlović, which means that watching the team is, by design, punishing. Maybe it’s just the usual machinations of the powers that be that knock the Viola out of the Champions League or the Europa League or whatever.

That’s why I hate these stretches. Fiorentina looks good right now, producing an historic win to open this campaign and a grintastic performance to win the second match. With a squad packed full of talented youngsters and a knack for scoring spectacular goals, even the media have taken notice of this edition of the Viola; I can’t recall seeing so many people discussing this team since the Vincenzo Montella days, when the cognoscenti the world over swooned (or at least pretended to) at the lovely passing football being played in Florence.

So when the inevitable collapse or injury or plague of locusts or whatever arrives, it’s just going to make things worse. Yes, Jordan Veretout will return soon to add stability to a slightly lightweight midfield, and Marko Pjaca should be healthy enough to start now, but make no mistake: it’s going to go wrong at some point. Sooner or later, teams are going to kick Federico Chiesa bloody, defend deep, and hit on the break, and it’s going to be exactly what we expect, because that’s what it’s been every single year that most of us have been fans, and there’s no reason to expect a change after almost 50 years.

That said, this year Fiorentina is winning the scudetto and they’re going to nuke Napoli out of the San Potato and it’s going to be awesome and everything will be beautiful forever goodbye and amen.

Latest news

Fiorentina have a small army of players on loan, so we checked on the guys in the top two tiers of Italian football.

It was grim, gritty, gruesome, and not much fun to watch at times, but the good guys beat Udinese to make it two from two. Here is our full coverage of the match.

Sebastian Cristoforo has joined Getafe on loan for the season, and we have further comment on the matter.

15 Viola first team players have been called up for international duty with their respective countries. That’s cool.

Must read

It’s old news at this point, but have a look at our review of the Viola tactics in that big win over Chievo Verona.

It’s always fun to look back at managers past. Especially when you’re not paying any attention to them as managers, but as fashion icons. We asked you who was the most stylish, and you answered.

Poll

How’s it all going to go wrong this year?

This poll is closed

  • 13%
    The angels will literally descend to earth in a fiery chariot to take Federico Chiesa back to heaven, whence he clearly came, because he is too good for this weary and broken world.
    (6 votes)
  • 25%
    Marko Pjaca will wait until the final match of the season to suddenly score 26 own goals before ripping off his jersey to reveal that he’s been wearing black and white stripes all along.
    (11 votes)
  • 6%
    Due to some wacky hijinks and a ouija board with a bad attitude, Germán Pezzella and Vitor Hugo will suddenly be body-swapped with Roncaglia and Felipe. The defense will, um, suffer substantially.
    (3 votes)
  • 37%
    Bees.
    (16 votes)
  • 16%
    John Wick will slip into the stadium and emerge victorious from a short and brutal fight with Stefano Pioli, whose wardrobe clearly marks him as a villain in the third installment of the series.
    (7 votes)
43 votes total Vote Now

Comment of the week

No discussion of Fiorentina coaching costumes would be complete without this one. Thanks, Trayers.

That’s it for this week, folks.