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BatiGol Weekly: It’s too darn hot

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In which we discuss pretty much nothing because this heat wave has scrambled our brains.

US-ENVIRONMENT-DROUGHT-CLIMATE
When the thermometer goes way up and the weather is sizzling hot
Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images

I live in Seattle, where there is currently a record-breaking heat wave. It’s 105F/40C, which is hot. For a city where the average June high temperature is 69F (nice)/21 C, that’s pretty significant, especially because many buildings lack air conditioning. At a certain point, even a fan is just blowing scorching air on you to more effectively broil your skin.

And yes, I know that it gets hotter in other places. I’m from Texas. I’ve spent summers there without air conditioning. I worked installing solar panels on roofs there. I spent a couple of weeks doing that in Phoenix, Arizona, too. I’m not trying to turn this into a contest of “who’s been warmer;” I’ve had jobs that literally melted my shoes to the surface I was standing on. At a certain point, it’s just too damn hot for humans.

Because my brain is getting air-fried inside my skull, then, I don’t have anything funny or interesting to write here. I’m just trying to not to collapse and expire right now. The heat wave is supposed to break by Wednesday, so I might be able to do something useful after that. Until then, though, I’m going to focus on lying in the shade on a towel with the fan turned on me and a bowl full of ice cubes I can rest on my body, reveling in the 30 seconds of coolness they bring me until the atmosphere converts them to steam. See yall in a couple of days.

Latest news

The window hasn’t even opened yet and Fiorentina have signed Nicolás González. What is the alternate universe and how can we stay in it forever?

Sticking with Nickies, Milenković has been linked once again to an English club, but not the usual one. West Ham? Really?

So this feels a bit laughable now, but there were some pretty credible reports last week that Fiorentina were getting ready in case the deal for Italiano didn’t go through, which likely signals the club doing its due diligence in a slightly comforting manner.

And oh yeah, that thing with Italiano? It’s not official yet, but it’s getting mightily close.

Finally, it sounds like Franck Ribery will not be pulling on that famous purple shirt next year, and we’re very okay with that.

Must read

We looked at some Spezia players who could be useful to Fiorentina. No reason, just considering, you know.

With González now a Viola player, we got the inside scoop on what to expect from him. If you’re looking for the tl;dr, he’s good.

We asked yall who you thought Fiorentina’s next manager would be, and you answered.

Even if you don’t like Federico Chiesa, you can still support him with the Azzurri. And there’s no way that anyone will get grouchy about this at all.

Poll

Which Texas expression for extreme heat is the best?

This poll is closed

  • 12%
    It’s hotter than a two-pecker puppy.
    (3 votes)
  • 40%
    It’s hotter than two rats doing the big nasty in a wool sock.
    (10 votes)
  • 16%
    It’s hotter than a honeymoon hotel.
    (4 votes)
  • 16%
    It’s hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.
    (4 votes)
  • 16%
    Hotter than whoopee in woolens.
    (4 votes)
25 votes total Vote Now

Comment of the week

One of the things that I love about sports in general and this site in particular is that they bring us together, putting us in contact with people we’s otherwise never interact with and creating communities where none could’ve existed. It’s why, when we get news like this from fajar.angga, it means more than anything that could happen in the game.

That’s it for this week, folks. Stay hydrated.