As we descend into autumn and its standard accompaniments in the northern hemisphere—pumpkin spice and Christmas music for those wondering—it’s time for your favorite Viola idiot to think spooky thoughts. That’s right, folks. It’s time to think about Fiorentina Halloween costumes.
While this year’s team lacks the hard man of years past (think Felipe Melo or Facundo Roncaglia), there’s still plenty of terror to be had, depending on how you interpret it. Nikola Milenković and Igor, for example, are monstrously large and could probably pull my arms off my body and beat me with them if they wanted. And Bartłomiej Drągowski, of course, is our beautiful and pure blood berserker prince with a heart of gold.
You could also take this in a slightly more abstract direction. For example, you could pick Riccardo Sottil faced with time and options near the opposing box, or José Callejón faced with the prospect of moving forward, or the Dušan Vlahović-shaped void this team may feature up front after January. That’s the joy of being a Fiorentina fan, of course: there are always myriad frights to be had in the team.
Who’s the scariest Fiorentina player?
This poll is closed
Nikola Milenković, the Mountain that Kicks
Bart the Blood Berserker Prince
Ravishing Ricky Sottil on the edge of the box
Callejón about to receive the ball
Vlahović edging towards the exit
Those were all jokes because literal violent felon Sasha Kokorin is on the roster
Here’s your weekend thread. Stay loose.