Now that quarantines or shelter-in-place orders have hit pretty much everywhere across the globe, everyone has become a shut-in over these past couple weeks or months (or, in my case, decades). Some people are using the time to attack a big project. Some are honing new skills. Some are sinking into the furthest recesses of absurdity on Football Manager. And some are just tilting cans back.
For any Fiorentina fans in that latter category, I bring you good news. While we can’t get you the coldest Peroni in the Artemio Franchi, we can at least highlight a few brews that wear the right color. That’s right, it’s time to look at purple beer cans.
Prettiest beer I ever did see: Left Hand Brewing Co. Milk Stout pic.twitter.com/0RqoHWgF— ✨natalie (@talkanatalka) April 3, 2012
While Left Hand Brewing may lose points for creativity on the beer name here, it’s a pretty dang good milk stout: sweet, thick, robust, and not for the lactose-intolerant (I swear this isn’t about me). There’s also a nitro version if you want it even smoother. Just outside of Boulder, Left Hand is one of the best big independent brewers in the US.
Pair with: oysters on the half shell, venison, chocolate, caramel, your winter holiday of choice
(1/4) REMINDER: BOTH OF THESE ARE THE EXACT SAME BEER. Due to can supplier issues, we’ve had to wrap some of our existing unused cans with these sexy purple Space Ways labels. pic.twitter.com/Y56MdW055r— Modern Times Beer (@ModernTimesBeer) September 11, 2018
Not only does it come in purple, but there’s also a white can so you can get that full home-and-away kit feel. An IPA by San Diego’s solid Modern Times brewery, it’s a hazy, New England-style IPA.
Pair with: grilled salmon or meat, fresh vegetables, an ironic mustache from 2017
Twelfth of Never
We are known for our cocktails, but we've got some pretty great beers too!— Principal's Office (@PrincipalsDrink) October 20, 2019
Twelfth of Never from Lagunitas
TROPICALLY HOPPY. LIGHT, YET FULL-BODIED. BRIGHT AND CITRUSY. WORD. pic.twitter.com/xde5a7au8Z
Another IPA, this one’s a bit lighter and less hazy. You know it’s probably pretty good because Lagunitas (even since the Heineken takeover) is a swell brewer. Plus this one gives off some serious Pontello-era vibes with the red trim.
Pair with: grilled chicken, summer squash, eggplant, the tiny but impossible-to-shake suspicion that you’re not quite as cool as you think
Jimmy’s Easy IPA
How about a second light IPA? This one’s from Aberta’s Brewster restaurant/brewery empire. And it’s a pretty nice can.
Pair with: not maple syrup, not poutine, not a moose, maybe hockey
A Belgian-style witbier with a little bit of a southern twist from Catawba Brewing in North Carolina, the Zombie has some of the coriander and orange to complement the white flavor.
Pair with: hard cheese, seafood, pork tenderloin, more human than human
If you like fruits in your beer, look no further than one of Abita’s flagships. Raspberry mixed into a lager may not sound great, but it’s actually quite good. Also, Abita is older than most of the people reading this, having been founded in 1986.
Pair with: salads, light desserts, soft cheeses, memories of childhood filtered through soft southern light
Purple Rain— コリン ラーメンアンドデストロイ (@0180Takata) March 16, 2020
SOUR ALE with BLUEBERRY & STRAWBERRIES
⭕️ #beer#ビール#birdsongbrewery #craftbeer #クラフトビール https://t.co/mC7UeGAGyU pic.twitter.com/h2RPnDCi2c
More of an away strip than a home jersey, I’ll allow it because we need to get a sour in here. It’s from Birdsong Brewing of Charlotte, North Carolina, and boasts a super sour taste with strawberries and blueberries. Not for everyone, sure, but sometimes you really need one of those.
Pair with: stinky cheese, mussels, fruit pie, the desperate need to prove that you really like sour ales
Pretty sure this is exactly the same as National Bohemian’s regular brew but repackaged into a purple can to better match the colors of the Baltimore Ravens (sadly, it’s the wrong kind of football). But hey, who are we to turn down the mid-Atlantic’s finest swill? Natty Boh forever, bay-bee.
Pair with: steamed crab, crabcakes, crab poboy, crab pasta, frat boys, not Omar Epps
If you’re sick of all these recommendations of fancy beers from jackass snobs, this one’s for you. Part of Steel Reserve’s Alloy Series, it boasts that “Crisp blackberry and citrus flavors combined to turn tastebuds up 2 eleven,” which has the double benefit of making no sense and making copywriters flinch.
Pair with: half a rotisserie chicken you stole from an opossum in a dumpster
In lieu of a poll this week, feel free to post any other purple beers (or anything else, for that matter) in the comments. Hang in there, everybody.