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BatiGol Weekly 119: Deep karma canyon

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In which we discuss being noticed, being ignored, and the coolest thing I’ve ever done (it’s not actually that cool).

ACF Fiorentina v Chievo Verona - Serie A
Tell me who will keep score for you as we play every day inside a deep karma canyon.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

Nobody saw the coolest thing I’ve ever done. It happened while I was working at a coffee shop when I was 19. I picked up a very full bus tray, and a glass rolled out of the bin and fell towards the cement floor. I stuck out a foot, caught the glass with the finest touch you’ve ever seen, and flipped it onto the bottom shelf of the bus station completely unharmed. And again, nobody saw.

That’s because I’m not a celebrity or a superstar or anything; I’m a pretty normal and unremarkable person who neither receives nor deserves widespread attention. As much fun as it’d be to have everyone gasp at my undeniable glass touch, I’m okay with not being under the microscope, because that means a lot of my mistakes are equally ignored.

When you’re last year’s 7th-place team in the third or fourth most popular league in the world, that’s sort of how your life is too. Like, thousands of people care a whole lot about Fiorentina, but billions don’t. There isn’t media coverage of every training session, every dressing room joke, every player’s vacation. When Fede Chiesa bodies Kalidou Koulibaly into the ground, the world doesn’t rush to marvel at the youngster shouldering Serie A’s best centerback into the turf like a rag doll despite being 23 cm shorter and 19 kg lighter. On the ESPN+ broadcast of the Napoli game, there was a halftime segment about the best goals of the season in Serie A and Nikola Milenković didn’t even come up. But the world watches Cristiano Ronaldo celebrate like a maniac after scoring a tap-in and breaks into applause.

That’s just how it is. We have to appreciate every moment of magic by ourselves, just as we have to suffer through every dreary reversal by ourselves. I guess I could take this into some larger, postmodern spin about life and the fate of humanity, but I’m not really interested in that. I just want to say thank you to everyone here for being here. Because at least when the Viola kick a glass back onto a shelf, there are a few people who’ll see it and talk about it, and that’s plenty good enough.

Latest news

If you’re planning on taking Fiorentina to great heights in FIFA 19, you probably want to figure out each player’s ratings, and we’ve got a sneak peak for you.

Fiorentina Women’s look set to advance to the next round of the Champions League after an impressive win against Fortuna Hjørring.

The Viola faced Napoli in their first road test of the season and fell short. Here is our complete coverage of the match.

Must read

If you want to know who’s going to be doing the writing on this goofball site this year, you should get to know the staff here.

We wondered how much yall care about Federico Chiesa’s performance for the Azzurri, and yall provided typically excellent feedback.

FIFA has proposed some new transfer rules, and we took a look at what the changes to how loans work could do to Fiorentina’s player recruitment strategy.

We can’t figure it out, so we want you to help us figure Fiorentina’s best-ever XI, and we’re starting with the goalies.

The poll

In lieu of an actual poll, you ought to post the coolest thing you’ve ever done that nobody saw in the comments. We can bear witness to each other.

Comment of the week

We can’t condone drug use here at Viola Nation, but if you’re going to do it, make sure it’s in a place where it’s legal, beautiful, and relaxing. What we’re saying here is that you should be more like slakas if you’re going to do drugs. Which, again, we do not condone.

That’s it for this week, folks.