As we approach the cusp of millennials taking over the world, there remains a large portion of the world that expresses nothing but disgust. Snapchat? Kardashians? Avocado toast? Bah humbug. We would never do something like that. Er, except when we do. Like when you’re the boss of the Sixers and get caught releasing medical information about one of your players.
For those of you who aren’t NBA fans, here’s a quick recap: Bryan Colangelo, the DS of the Philadelphia 76ers, was caught using several Twitter accounts to defend his decisions, leak injury reports about his players, attack his critics, and defend his choice in shirt collar size. The current theory is that he ran one or two of the five accounts in question, and his wife registered the others, although he seems to be the one who used them. The team and the league have launched investigations, so we may get the full truth at some point, but right now, it’s simply the weirdest, most marvelous intersection of social media and scandal imaginable.
One of the questions this has launched, of course, is “Who else is doing this?” Maybe Colangelo’s the only person in the sporting world who engages in such practices, but it’s sort of hard to believe that nobody else is following a similar approach, across the various sports in the world. Maybe even in soccer. Maybe even at Fiorentina.
But who or whom could it be?
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Realistically? It’s Pantaleo Corvino, who delights in spreading mis-, dis-, and otherwise non-information.
Then again, can’t you imagine Cyril Théréau touching up the lipstick tat on his neck and then logging into his burner @edgy_bro_69_420 to talk about how cool Cyril Théréau’s neck tattoo of lip imprints is?
On the other hand, I could totally see Germán Pezzella using the handle @_the_real_milan_badelj to confuse people even more.
But wait, is Federico Chiesa actually that nice? Is anyone that nice? Or does he get home from training every day and lambast everyone from the anonymous safety of the internet?
It’s gotta be Vitor Hugo. He’s up to something. I be that’s not even his name in real life.