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BatiGol Weekly 109: When I paint my masterpiece

In which we discuss fine art and absolutely nothing else. Because really, does anything else matter in this world?

ACF Fiorentina v Cagliari Calcio - Serie A
Someday, everything is gonna be different, when I paint my masterpiece.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

Since Florence is the home of the Renaissance and the Uffizi and all the good art, and since we had a hilariously long and detailed discussion in the comments last week about paintings, I’ve decided to go back through some of my favorite pictures of Fiorentina over this past season that could easily double as Renaissance or Baroque altarpieces.

1. We’ll start with this one. The arrangement of the twisting and stretching figures, the obvious physicality of the composition, and the gazes directed in all different directionsk put me in mind of Domeninichino or Lanfranco or one of those early 17th-century dudes who worked in Rome.

ACF Fiorentina v Cagliari Calcio - Serie A
“The Martyrdom of St. Milan” by Domenichino Zampieri
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

2. Beginning with the most recent, here’s Bryan Dabo achieving godhood. The faces, with their various extreme expressions and each pointing in different directions, along with the implied motion and the left arm of Diego Falcinelli adding obvious depth, make me think of maybe Artemisia Gentileschi doing a mythological scene.

Genoa CFC v ACF Fiorentina - Serie A
“The Apotheosis of Bryan Dabo” by Artemesia Gentileschi
Photo by Valerio Pennicino/Getty Images

3. The joy on the faces is not quite right, but the diverse faces and poses of the crowd has some Dutch or Flemish to it.

ACF Fiorentina v SSC Napoli - Serie A
“The Watch Party” by Guglielmo Borremans
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

4. The triumphal pose of Jordan Veretout’s arm and the slightly ambiguous expression on the face of Nikola Milenković in front of a colorful but indistinct background give this a sort of early Mannerist feeling.

ACF Fiorentina v SS Lazio - Serie A
“The Triumph of St. Jordan of Veretout”, attributed to a follower of Lorenzo Lotto
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

5. The subject matter may be more Breugel or Bosch than anything else, but the movement and the figural pyramid in the composition make this feel a lot more Italian, or maybe Spanish.

ACF Fiorentina v AC Chievo Verona - Serie A
Detail from “Tuscan Proverbs” by Pieter Breugel the Elder
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

6. While he’s not usually considered a master, a genre-painter like Magnasco is sometimes way more fun to look at due to the energy and sometimes despair in his works.

ACF Fiorentina v AC Chievo Verona - Serie A
“The Battle at the Stadio Artemio Franchi” by Alessandro Magnasco
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

7. It’s the perfect arrangement of the principal actors here that creates an interesting effect. The twisting bodies are pure Rubens circa Antwerp, but the arrangement of the subjects into a perfect pyramid means that there’s still a sense of stability; making Milan Badelj the base of that pyramid is a perfect way to subtly indicate that he’s the stable and sturdy base that all the writhing, grasping chaos of a match is built on. Matos Ryder’s face, though, is pure Renaissance: even in a stressful moment, it’s bathed in this unearthly calm. Simply a masterpiece.

ACF Fiorentina v Hellas Verona FC - Serie A
“The Struggles of Man to Overcome his Basic Nature” by Peter Paul Rubens
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

8. Fede and Cyril are good here, but oh my god look at Marco Benassi. That’s one of the most late-Renaissance faces I’ve ever seen.

ACF Fiorentina v US Sassuolo - Serie A
Detail from “The Gamblers” by an unknown member of the Farnese circle
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

9. Radical foreshortening. Intense focus in one direction. Figures painted from the back. Non-idealized facial expressions. Yeah, it’s definitely a Caravaggio.

Hellas Verona FC v ACF Fiorentina - Serie A
“The Trials of Mohamed Fares: An Allegory” by Caravaggio
Photo by Mario Carlini / Iguana Press/Getty Images


Which is your favorite Fiorentina painting?

This poll is closed

  • 7%
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  • 0%
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  • 14%
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  • 22%
    Just shut the hell up, Tito. For, like, 20 minutes. Just shut the hell up.
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That’s it for this week, folks. Go to the museum. There’s a lot of cool stuff there.