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Pros and cons to selling Borja Valero

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This is a very serious list that required lots of difficult, analytical research.

ACF Fiorentina v Empoli FC - Serie A
Not amused.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

We’ve heard a lot about Inter Milan trying to sign Borja Valero this week. We as fans hate this, because Borja is Fiorentina. But sometimes, you have to step outside yourself and look at the big picture. So here’s our rational, thoughtful consideration at the potential sale of the midfield maestro.

Selling Borja: The Pros

  • 5 million euros could buy about two thirds of one Jasmin Kurtić
  • Stefano Pioli has received instruction to create a classless, hive-minded team that is concerned only with the collective good and thus has no need of a captain
  • Maybe we’d finally get to see Octavio play! What? What’s that you say? He plays for Tupi now? Is that even a real club? Is that even a real person? What if everything everyone’s ever told me is a lie?
  • We’d get to see Hrvoje Milić assume more creative responsibilities, for which we’ve been clamoring
  • Corvino is really pivoting the paradigm and iterating on the ensuing disruption to create a nimble and agile core that can run lean and ideate on big data
  • Despite what we believe, we exist in a universe where causality doesn’t operate as a factor in the way we believe it does
  • Would increase the median amount of hair on the team by a whole lot
  • Would open space in the squad to bring back Houssine Kharja, which would restore the hair balance

Selling Borja: The Cons

  • He’s the club’s most important, most consistent, most loved player and selling him would be a betrayal of everything we think Fiorentina stands for and could start a Baggio-level riot

So there you have it. It’s a really tough decision and it’s easy to see why the club could go either way.