So, uh, Fiorentina aren’t doing much in this transfer window. At all. In fact, Corvino has yet to even trail a finger through the water. And, while it’s probably not a bad thing that he’s not jumping into any disastrous January deals (cough Mario Bolatti cough), it’d be nice to see something. Instead, all the other top teams in Italy are adding pieces and getting ready for the stretch run while the Viola just hang out with the same thin and hole-y squad.
This is not why we’re fans. We like Fiorentina because, variously, we’re very into purple, or our families are Tuscan, or we fell in love with the city on a visit, or Gabriel effing Batistuta, or the Renaissance, or hundreds of other reasons. But one thing that Fiorentina has always been good for is entertainment. Whether that was freefalling through the tiers of calcio during the Cecchi Gori years or watching Batigol bang in goals or learning that Adrian Mutu had been popped for drug use again or watching Delio Rossi attack Adem Ljajic or seeing an unmarked Mario Gomez somehow contrive to miss an open net from 4 yards out, this team has always been exciting in one way or another.
"Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring."
So what we need is excitement. Right now, Fiorentina is a bit too Andy Warhol and not enough Ridley Scott (I was going to say Michael Bay, but no one ever needs more Michael Bay. Ever.). So let’s get some tense tracking shots and some unexpected action and maybe a little bit of Harrison Ford shooting at people in a crowd. Because good lord this is boring.
After all, Fiorentina has their own wayward starlets, although Hernan Toledo (who still believes that he exists) says he wants to stay in Florence despite foreign interest.
We’ve got plenty of news on the Kalinic-to-Tianjin saga. First, we learned that the Chinese outfit would meet the release clause. Then, Fiorentina accepted the offer, leaving it all up to Nikola. The striker will meet with representatives of both teams tomorrow in London to either accept or reject the deal. Scintillating stuff, this.
Wanna know who’s not leaving now, though? Hint: his name starts with "M" and ends in "auro Zarate," and he may be next in line for a renewal.
Jonathan Calleri is a Corvino favorite despite his really bad move to West Ham, and the Crow could try to snag him at a discount this month.
The media wouldn’t shut up about misfiring Hammer strikers getting a shot in Florence, though, and we finally had to look at the Simone Zaza rumor, which has now been pretty well debunked.
Ravzan Marin is a promising playmaker who’s coveted by Corvino, but probably won’t leave Romania until this summer.
We’ve spent months hearing about how Milan Badelj is leaving Florence ASAP. Haha, well, about that.
In a rare bit of non-mercato news, Bartlomiej Dragowski tore up his knee in training and will be out until February or March. And that sucks.
Ryad Boudebouz is a very good player, so it’s a bit surprising that Fiorentina are supposed to be planning a bid. Of course, a lot of other clubs are in for him too, so probably not.
Khouma Babacar isn’t leaving Florence this window. Here’s the report/unashamed cheering section.
Remember Haris Seferovic? Left Florence about half a decade ago? Well, now he’s maybe on the return track.
We don’t know much about Tomas Sandoval, except that he’s young, looks the part, and probably isn’t leaving Argentina until this summer. Glad we settled that.
Think you’re glad that you’re finally done with family time over the holidays? You’ve got nothing on Carlos Salcedo.
Comment of the week
Trayers emerges from the woodwork with a perfectly innocent question about translating a harmless phrase into Mandarin.
That’s it for this week, folks. Don’t forget the Coppa Italia match against Chievo Verona on Wednesday. And also some trifling wee match with some team wearing Newcastle shirts.