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BatiGol Weekly 62: The mob song

We don’t like what we don’t understand. In fact, it scares us. So join our movement for mediocrity, friends.

ACF Fiorentina v AC Milan - Serie A
It’s time to take some action, boys.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

I know I’m not the only one who’s sick of seeing Fiorentina almost do it. Fourth place or the Europa semifinals or capolista at Christmas are deeply frustrating, because you never quite get that release of watching them win it. Instead, you get to watch Hrvoje Milic fire a cross that not only misses the six-yard box but somehow exits the space-time continuum, or watch another promising attack fizzle out when Nenad Tomovic somehow pops up in the box to hack at the ball and whiff completely like Charlie Brown.

Think back to a golden time, a halcyon time, a time not so far gone, a time when we didn’t have to suffer like this. Back then, there was none of this tension about whether or not Fiorentina would win anything bigger than a single match, and the only question was how many knots would Per Kroldrup get tied into while trying to chase such noted speedsters as Vincenzo Iaquinta or Robert Aquafresca, or how many times Ricardo Montolivo would wake from his nap in the center circle for long enough to knock a pass directly to the opposing number 10 before dozing off again.

Enough is enough, my friends. It’s time we took our pitchforks and stormed the Artemio Franchi, demanding an end to this brazen display of competence that offers effervescent glimpses of a brighter future, a future replete with silverware and a style of cultured yet athletic play that serves as a beacon to the rest of Serie A and the world at large, that cements Fiorentina alongside il Grande Inter and Sacchi’s Milan as the great teams of the peninsula.

Friends, it’s not easy to conceive, much less to say, but we must stamp out this seed of hope for once and for all. We need to bring back Delio Rossi so this team, this team that we love so much, can sink back to mediocrity and allow our hopes to decline with it, thereby avoiding that final, painful defeat with which we’ve all become so intimately acquainted. It’s time to make Fiorentina perfectly average again.

Latest news

A trip to Udinese is always tricky, and we covered it all right here.

Missed penalties, missed fouls, and overt domination. Catch up on our coverage of that crazy match against AC Milan.

Must read

Transfer rumors in September are stupid, and that’s why we’re tracking them.

Want to know how the Fiorentina squad stacks up in FIFA 17? Here are the ratings.

If you’re more interested in IRL and long-term Fiorentina stuff, take a look at our report on how the Viola players are doing on loan.

Comment of the week

I don’t usually pick something from a staff member, but schadenfreude trumps my moral compass. Take it away, Nolan KB.

That’s it for this week’s BGW, folks. Get ready for some midweek Europa League action, complete with a handy guide for how to pronounce "Qarabag."