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BatiGol Weekly 71: Monday, Monday

Can’t trust that day. Also can’t trust the man, man.

FC Internazionale v ACF Fiorentina - Serie A
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be.
Photo by Pier Marco Tacca/Getty Images

Paranoia is an excellent quality for any sports fan, but for fans of Italian soccer in particular. After all, there’s a real and ugly history of corruption across all facets of the game, from referee bribery (cough Antonio Damato cough) to back office shenanigans to players throwing matches, followers of calcio have seen it all. Heck, even the big clubs who’ve been caught committing such skulduggery complain about it.

But, as Fiorentina fans, we can’t let that sort of paranoia only reach our footballing lives. Sure, we can point to the dubious rigore per Juventus in the 1982 season, or Bayern Munich in the 2009 Champions League, or AC Milan edging Siena for the final Champions League spot in 2012, but we won’t. Instead, let’s look at all the other aspects of our lives for which similar levels of paranoia are appropriate.

The traffic on your daily commute home? Obviously planned by vengeful politicians. The webcam on your computer? Definitely being monitored by some shady government agency. That feeling that authority figures are shorter than you, even though they don’t look it? Yeah, that’s real too.

There now, don’t you feel better? Corruption in football barely even matters, right? Now smile big for that camera that you know the electrician installed in your smoke detector last year, because everything’s going to be alright.

Latest news

Blogging pro tip: don’t get stuck in rural Texas without an internet connection when Fiorentina plays or you won’t be able to cover your team adequately. That said, here’s our bit on a wholly forgettable Europa League matchup against PAOK.

Remember the transfer rumors from last week? If not, we’ll give you a chance to get caught back up.

Monday matches throw everything off, so we’re still in the midst of our coverage of the Inter Milan match a few hours ago. And by in the midst, I mean my hands are still shaking too much with helpless rage to type very well.

Comment of the week

Quattro Stelle quite rightly will tolerate no disrespect to the badge and wants no leniency. As an aside, that avatar looks like a Mannerist masterpiece.

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember, odds are that things will get better.