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BatiGol Weekly 67: Monster mash

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The scene ain’t rockin’, and nobody’s diggin’ the sounds. So now what?

ACF Fiorentina v FC Crotone - Serie A
Here, enjoy the spookiest Viola picture I could find.
Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNuVifA7DSU">The scene ain’t rockin’</a>, and nobody’s diggin’ the sounds. So now what?Lord knows that Florence is about the best place in the world to set a tale of terror. From the legendary (and probably exaggerated) depravity of the Borgias to the more contemporary and genuinely horrifying mystery of the Monster of Florence, there’s hardly a shortage of frightening material from which to weave a scary story.

But we’ve got something even scarier to the average Viola fan to talk about. No, it’s not the return of Delio Rossi. No, it’s not even the return of the Cecchi Goris. It’s something far more insidious. It’s a boring Fiorentina.

We can all agree that Fiorentina, no matter where they sit in the table, provides excitement. This club has always found ways to reach out and grab an audience, whether it’s with scintillating football, catastrophic defending, sideline buffoonery, or off-field madness. Even the Sinisa Mihajlovic era, renowned for being about as interesting as the lint under your bed, provided us with the Houssine Kharja train saga, the protracted farewell to Ricardo Montolivo, and the drama of when Sinisa would get the axe.

Instead, what we’ve got now seems to be rather the opposite. 5-goal outbursts against Cagliari aside, Paulo Sousa has built a club that follows the same template every match: keep the ball in the defense and the base of midfield, occasionally try to catch the opposing backline off-guard with a ball over the top, and a steady succession of counterattacks conceded. We know what’s going to happen before it does. And that, that is what’s really scary.

Latest news

Well, the match against Crotone was a bit of a washout, but at least our coverage of it was pretty good. Er, silver lining?

We may have napped through the Bologna match, but can you really blame us? We’ve still got our regular reporting on it, though.

Must read

Catch up on the scary (or, realistically, not-so-scary) transfer rumors from last week.

Viola alumnus Marcos Alonso showcased something we never thought he had in his arsenal. Cripes.

We’ve put our crack financial reporting team (aka Nolan KB) on the ongoing story of the Della Valles’ possibly diminishing fortune and what it means for Fiorentina.

Comment of the week

Even when confronted with the prospect of losing to Crotone, wolfpackallday remains positive.

That’s it for this week, folks. Make your plans for a Thursday Europa League return date against Slovan Liberec. Also, if you have any, share your favorite Halloween songs in the comments.