BatiGol Weekly, Ed. 2: We promise not to mention You-Know-Who

Ok Nation. This was a tough week. And it was a tough month. And it was a tough magical war in our wizarding blogosphere. Specifically I have been plagued by various and very interesting curses that were cast from the depths of Twitter (yes, all those hyperlinks are Death Eaters tweeting their support of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named). But now, as we start to dust ourselves off and rebuild our violet-hued universe, let's look at the news that's been happening while You-Know-Who has been causing such a kerfuffle.

There will be no inflation on Hogsmeade stadium prices this year. In fact, you will be able to pay for everything you spend in installments. You will still require a note from your guardian though; we remind you all that yes, convicted felons DO count.

I'm really excited about our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. His elegant features and silver hair will inspire confidence when learning difficult defensive spells.

Only a five short days ago, Le Coq Sportif debuted new jerseys and they were maaaaagiccalllllll (ok even I admit that was lazy).

Marcos Alonso has decapitated a snake. No one is quite sure why.

And, to cheer you all in another, positively Muggle way, remember: Fiorentina has managed to keep Khouma Babacar, who will enthusiastically sign a new contract when he gets back to Italy. That means we get another season of a 22 year old Primavera product who can do THIS...

... a thunderbolt that would make BatiGol himself proud. Just one more banana to go then, eh?

THE LATEST

Dare we believe that a good signing might actually happen this summer? Here's the unexpected sequel to the biannual Daniele Baselli link!

If you have been living under a rock, you can catch up on the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named saga, spearheaded by the always-excellent Chloe.

Fiorentina missed out on Jose Mauri, with the 19 year old ex-Parma dynamo going to Milan. Boo.

Matias Fernandez, David Pizarro, and some other losers on the Chile team won the Copa America! Amazing! So happy for them! But why didn't Mati take a penalty all season for us then when he can take an absolutely perfect first penalty under massive pressure?

That video is also a great watch for schadenfreude fans, as Napoli player Gonzalo "€95 million release clause" Higuain totally shanks his penalty.

RECOMMENDED

I had way too much fun writing this article on how Fiorentina are like a dumb girl in a mediocre romantic comedy.

The Tito is continuing his attempt at a stat's revolution with his breakdown of last year's defense. The midfield will come out later this week. I have already warned him though, that "logic" "analytical thinking" and "numbers" will always be distrusted by my Purple Reign (of Terror) (TM).

[note: the "Purple Reign (of Terror)" should not be associated with the Dark Lord in any way. It should only be associated with Prince, as it is from Prince that the pun derives. It is from Prince that we all derive. PRINCE.]

And finally, our one true BOMBER is making us all feel better about life.

COMMENT OF THE WEEK

There was A LOT of good work below the line, and I'd like to also applaud you folks for containing your vitriol and channeling it into a productive direction (i.e., Ujfalusi nostalgia). But here was the pick of the bunch for me, from the first article on the shadowy Mr. Abbas:

I think Coco's setup and reaction were quite good as well. The whole thing is as quick and silly as a Charlie Chaplin realization. Although Catalogue had another good contender in that Ujfalusi - David Gilmour comparison.

Get below the line and please, feel free to defame my nerd-dom. Just don't use the Dark Lord's name.