Have you ever, like, really thought about the ocean, man? Just think about the waves. They keep coming in, like, forever. I mean, no one's ever seen them stop right? They just keep coming in forever, man, like from the center of the ocean, and we don't even know what's out there making them. It could be anything out there making those waves, right? It's just crazy to think of that endless expanse that salt and water, rolling across itself in eternal permutations, a limitless body uncaring of itself and everything else? Like, woah, man.
Because if you've ever thought about that, then you know what it feels like to be a Fiorentina fan right now: an endless, changeless succession of underwhelming draws washing the beach of our expectations. Each match builds up over thousands of miles, gaining momentum until it towers over the shore, then trips over itself and collapses and meekly slips back out into the ocean. Okay, it's only been three draws on the trot, but having them all come after a long international break and in singularly uninspired fashion against beatable opponents leads to a sense of dreariness and dread that we haven't felt since the dark days of Delio Rossi.
So please, Paulo Sousa and company, if you're reading this message in a bottle, come rescue us. We need you to absolutely stomp Udinese on Saturday, or we may go mad, contemplating the the ineffable and protean sea that stretches before us.
tl;dr ugh boring draws are the worst
If you hate things that are fun and beautiful, you can find our coverage of the Sassuolo match here.
And that goes double for the FC Basel match, which is here.
Football Manager junkies, check out the progress of Fiorentina's youngsters (and some older players) here.
And here is where you can update yourself on all the newest transfer rumors. Be sure to click through the stream for the older ones, too.
As much as it pains me to admit, this perspective from an Empoli fan is pretty cool, because you can tell just how excited he is.
And after that, cheer yourself up with this mind-bending touch from the ineffable Borja Valero.
Comment of the week
Big shout out to nickviola for digging up this gem, although I feel kind of dirty even posting it.
Don't worry, though. The Chinese apparel website the picture is from managed to update the gaff, so now it's just Nikola's eyes that are horrifying, not his Donald Duckness.
That's it for this week, amici. Be careful out there; I here it gets crazy. Forza viola.