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Viola Two Points Off First Place! Also, The Viola Glossary

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Give me a break. I’ve been writing this blog for almost three years now, and we’ve never been this close to first after this many games. So I decided to have a little fun with the title of the post. Yes, I am writing it on Saturday night and the Sunday games haven’t played yet. So what. Give me my little bit of fun.

After watching the New England Revolution beat the Seattle Sounders at scenic Gillette Stadium, I came home and watched our beloved Fiorentina take three points off a feisty Livorno squad on the road. The match wasn’t pretty, and featured only one goal, shot by the kid I was devoted to ages before it became fashionable, but a win is a win. As I said in a post earlier this season, we are now winning these grim games that we used to draw and lose, the games where we are not at our best but are the games that very good teams always seem to win. Hmmm…..

Today was truly pretty grim. We pretty much started a B-squad as the club looks forward to their big mid-week match with Red-Everton, and Livorno controlled much of the possession, especially in the first half. But we won a penalty, My Precious converted, and thus I get to go to bed happy. So all is well in my word.

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Also, Italy Offside enthusiasts will note that over at the Newcastle boards, Newcastle blogger Alessio has put together a glossary of Italian terms used in football. It’s very helpful for the beginner (and even the expert) and I recommend it to everybody. Allessio is a frequent contributor to our discussion boards as well. In short, he is a Newcastle guy, but I like him anyway.

Regardless, I thought I would help out readers of THIS blog by defining a few terms we use around here. They aren’t really technical terms, and they are not Italian in origin either. All right, they are just some bullshit jokes I use once in a while. At least now everyone will know what the hell I’m talking about:

Bassy: Affectionate nickname given to Viola netminder and resident genius Sebastian Frey, who not only should be the starting ‘keeper for France, but who also should be awarded the Nobel Prize for Keeping Balls out of the Net.
Beckham, David: The only human being ever to be rated higher on the “Duche Scale” than the Duche himself. This was once considered a scientific impossibility.
Beckhams, The: The name of the team that plays in Milan and wears black-and-red stripes. Team is named after their greatest-ever player.
“Best Player in the World with a Nine-Year-Old Girl’s Haircut”: This is how I used to describe Ricky Montolivo. Formerly an affectionate nickname. Now I sometimes think that there are nine-year old girls who are better than him.
Beautiful Florence: Self explanatory. How I always describe the most gorgeous city in the world.
Duche, The: Despicable Beckham midfielder Rino Gattuso, who once mocked the Gila Monster for no reason. One a scale of one to ten on the “Douche Scale”, he is a 37.
Gila Monster: forward Alberto Gilardino, a monster who, instead of killing children, scores goals.
Great Man, The: Coach Prandelli, described for all of his attributes both personal and professional.
My Precious: Affectionate (perhaps too affectionate) nickname I gave to Viola midfielder Steven Jovetic after he played about ten minutes in the purple shirt. My affection for him is likened to Gollum’s for the One Ring. I was once mocked for my love of all things Jovetic, but I am now generally acknowledged as a far-sighted genius. At least in my own mind.
Lazio Practice Squad: How I once described the “other” team in Rome, the one that wears the red-orange shirts. Set off a serious of angry emails to me from angry unemployed Roma fans that live in their mom’s basement.
Newcastle United: A filthy group of criminals who style themselves a football team. They play in the otherwise pretty city of Turin and wear black-and-white stripes. Named after a much more impressive organization that plies their trade in the fine City of Newcastle in England.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of for my glossary now. If I forgot any obvious ones, just leave them in the comments sections. Everyone relax for a few days. We all need to be at full strength for Red-Everton. (Ohh! I’ll have to add that one soon!)

Forza Viola!