Ok, the title might be a little presumptuous, but you get the idea. My name is Gianni and I am here to lead legions of Tifosi en route to the discussion, appreciation, worshipping, etc. of everyone's (yes, everyone's) favorite team, ACF Fiorentina.
By this point, much has already happened in a Fiorentina mercato which saw Viola top dog Diego Della Valle and director Pantaleo Corvino kidnap a group of kindergartners acquire several young prospects. An in depth analysis of said prospects will be published at a later date.
This mercato, however, is not all playing with toddlers. In fact, in a most sad but wholly unsurprising turn of events, Luca Toni a.k.a. Captain Kickass has left his purple colors to begin a new adventure in the Land of Sauerkraut with Bayern Munich. I'd understand this move if they were in the Champions League, but they're not. Luca is on the crest of his wave, yet all he can win is the Bavarian Championship and the UEFA Cup. Which is pretty good, but he had so much more going for him. Of course, we should feel appreciative of the fact that he refused to play on another Italian team in respect to his former, but what really happened is that he was all set for a Milan move, then Galliani decided "Hey, why spend 16 million euros on a proven Serie A striker? Let's spend 5 times as much on an arrogant star who's going to destabilize the locker room, create contract-related jealousies between teammates, and end up being sold for an eigth that sum a year and a half later!" And now they're getting Julio Baptista. God help us all.
Similarly, Inter was very interested in buying him last summer, but The Wannabe Argentinian Formerly Known as Moratti took one look at his passport, saw the red, white, and green flag, double checked to make sure it wasn't in fact, a Mexican flag, and put a stop to the transaction. Ok, that's not really how it went, but it's always good to include a Moratti diss every three paragraphs or so.
I don't want to give my fellow readers the idea that I wanted to offload Toni to an Italian team rather than a foreign one, but Milan was offering upwards of 15 million, Inter upwards of 20. We sold him for 11, and he could easily score 25+ goals a season in Germany.
It really sucks to see him go, but at this point there's nothing left to do but to dry our eyes, keep our heads held high, and wish him good luck and au revoire, as they say in Germany.
With that said, Fiorentina is a team that looks to the future, and, with our current roster, we will be ready to take over Italy and Europe just as soon as our players reach full maturity; don't worry, the next two decades will practically fly by.
P.S. I promise, that's going to be my last Toni-related stream of consciousness ever, for the next like, two days. What? I'm totally sane.