clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Dutch Cheese Has Fewer Holes Than I Thought

New, comments

Uefa_Cup_Logo

Wait, it's the Swiss one that has the holes right? Dammit, I knew something wasn't right.

Either way, Fiorentina barely squeezing past our favorite Dutch Dairy Delicacy, after PKs, for Batistuta's sake, was not how I had imagined our return to European soccer, after...what was it, eight years? Would turn out.

We did beat Groningen, we passed the preliminary, if you want to call it that, turn, and will now enter the group stage. A win is a win is a win, right? Yea, tell that to Capello. Though only Real Madrid could fire a coach after winning La Liga...which, despite funds which would make Silvio Berlusconi wet his pants, they hadn't won in a ridiculous number of years. (Remind you of a pinstriped team from New York, anybody? I think they play a sport involving a club-shaped object or something).

After penalties, the score was 5-4 for the Viola. Though I could not see the game, the general consensus was that Fiorentina played better, mostly, but just couldn't find the back of the net. What are we, Roma or something?

I won't rant too much about the this game; after all, we did win, and hopefully the men in purple will handle the rest of the Cup with a little more conviction, for the fans' sakes at least.

Once You Go White-Black, You Don't Go Back

Moggi_BaraI wonder what Moggi's 5 faves are like. De Santis, Paparesta, Pairetto, assorted Mafia Dons... maybe he gets a free-to-a-referee deal from his provider. Would save him a lot of money.

In the 1-1 tie against Juventus, Mutu & co. gave a decent performance, especially in the first half (they were a little sluggish and unimaginative in the second half), yet they were down a goal until the 90th minute. Right, let's see if I can remember the sequence of dubious calls:

  • Iaquinta goal allowed, when it should have been canceled for an offside by Trezeguet, who was shaking his bleu posterior in Frey's face 5 meters in front of the last defender, blocking his view
  • Nonexistent offside called against Fiorentina, putting a halt to what would have been a succulent goal-scoring opportunity
  • Penalty denied to Semioli for *double* gang-rape in the penalty box

I missed those guys.

The goal scored at the 90th minute was a Mutu penalty conceded for an Alonzo Mourning-style block on a Vieri shot. That's something, at least, but the defender should have been expelled, and I don't remember if he was even yellow-carded. In fact, I don't even remember who it was. Maybe Legrottaglie. Yeah, him. I think. I'm too lazy to check.

The International Break could not have come at a better time for The Viola, seeing as it gives them time to rest after these last weeks' tour de force. It also gives them some time to re-organize their ideas and continue on the winning road. And lets Pazzini have some alone time. Just him, a ball, and the goal line. As for the rest of the team, their spirits can't be low; they're doing well. But man, I wanted to win against Juve.

Remember though, our goal is CL qualification, and thus far we've reached the 4th place or better-berth.

Speaking of the International Break, guess who got a call-up? Ricky Montolivo, baby.

Guess who didn't? Filippo "Ow, the ball hit my ass - ooh goal, yay" Inzaghi and Alessandro "Shaved head, old tricks" Del Piero.

But back to Ricky. It's about frigging time he gets called up. I'm not going to go so far as to say Donadoni developed a brain, or anything, though. I mean, his talent is apparent. It's there for all to see. Double D must simply have thought he wasn't that good of a runningback.

I don't know how much playing time he'll be conceded against Georgia, it's a very important match (though we should have already been mathematically qualified by now), and there are more experienced, azzurri-wise, midfielders at Double D's disposal, but he should get some time during the friendly following the qualification match. I forgot who we're playing. And guess what? I'm too lazy to check.

Just a Little Bit of FIFA Ranting

Ok, someone explain to me this list. I would post it directly here, but I won't have any of that filth besmirching my page, as well as besmirching anything associated with Fiorentina.

This really should not have come at any surprise to me, but, alas, it did. I can't help it. I mean, I knew the idiots that make up football's governing body (although they shouldn't even be allowed to govern a fantasy football league) consist mainly of those genes which, according to Darwin, should have been crapped out of our gene pool centuries ago. But I was too naive. I didn't think it could be this bad. Ok, so maybe they'll omit this player, oh well, maybe it would have been a stretch to include him. All right, so they didn't put in that player, whatever, he didn't win much.

No.

They omitted Luca Toni, Francesco Totti, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Cesc Fabregas, David Villa, Paolo Maldini and, I'm sure, several others of which it was too painful to think about. Do I even need to list their accomplishments? Mr. Eight goals in eight games, top European goalscorer, leading man (only reason?) of Italian Championship-winning team, possibly best player last year in the Premiership...I feel like I'm wasting my metaphorical breath here. You know what players did make the list? Carlos Tevez (who, as we all remember, led the honorable West Ham to Premiership success thanks to his innumerable goals), Fabio Cannavaro (he's one of my favorite players, but he had what was probably the worstyear of his career at Real last year), and Juan Roman Riquelme (who the hell did he even play for?). There's many more, I just find it useless to further talk about them. Read the list, see for yourself. Witness human stupidity at its stupid-ness-est.

If Zeus were a Soccer God, he would have shoved a lightning bolt so far up the authors of this list's asses you'd hear thunder when they fart.

It's an absolute disgrace, but it's pointless to rant on much further, it's already been done by too many people, including the always colorful Roma fans (Damn, Ilary's smoking hot) and...umm... just about every soccer news source on Earth (I love how Goal.com is occasionally so incredibly opinionated...are these common fans' articles which they sometimes publish or something?).

But, you know, we really should have expected this.

After all, these are the people in charge of football.