FanPost

A Typical Day For Fiorentina: 2012-2013

I did this post once before and it got such a great reception that I decided to update it for this season, so without further ado this is a typical day for Fiorentina:

5:00 AM

The team wakes up and heads for the training camp. Facundo comes out of his doghouse and eats the T-Bone that's been left in his bowl. Ljajic and Cuadrado come straight from the club.

5:05

Gomez wakes up and heads straight to the hairdresser. Olivera makes his way from the bedroom to the kitchen but sits down halfway through to catch his breath.

5:10

Giuseppe Rossi gets on the train headed to the stadium, he has his ticket stamped by Kharja, who is now living his dream.

5:30

Pizarro arrives at the stadium. As he's getting out of the car he accidently drops the wrapper of the Cornetto that he was eating. Yellow card and penalty for Milan.

6:00

The players convene at the stadium. As they are walking in they pass by Vargas who is playing a pan flute and selling purses and dvds just outside the gate.

6:05

Aquilani arrives having spent a night at Borja's house having had a deep discussion about the philosophical origins of the universe and how it applies to European economics - also he is now completely bald.

6:10

Montella arrives and announces that he's finally got a plan for the team. He's going to put Rossi as keeper, Neto as center-forward, and Cuadrado at left back. He's pretty sure he's got it this time. Alternate plan he's just going to go for a 0-0-10.

6:30

Prade and Macia arrive and tell the press they've bought 1/2 of Rooney 1/5 of Cristiano Ronaldo and 4/8 of Ibrahimovic.

7:00

The training begins. Montella decides to start off with a inter-squad match. At the first touch of the ball, Hegazy accidently knocks down Ljajic. Bursting into tears Ljajic runs to the telephone to call his father.

7:30

As Lupatelli is walking towards the field he is knocked out by a mysterious stranger and dragged into a closet.

7:45

Stadium security are called to ask why Emiliano Viviano is walking around dressed in Lupatelli's uniform.

8:00

Gomez finishes at the hairdresser.

8:05

Mati Fernandez goes to Montella asking him where he's going to play this season. Montella tells him he has a very special position for him.

8:07

Mati Fernandez begins to mow the lawn.

8:30

Ljajic's father arrives and proceeds to yell at Montella about how his son is being treated and he'd probably be treated much better at Milan anyway. Montella realizes that Ljajic's father strangely resembles Galliani wearing a cheap fake mustache.

9:00

The team takes a break. Montella brings out a cooler of gatorades. Gomez tosses a bottle to Neto, who despite only standing 2 feet away completely misses it and it hits Aquilani. Bruised shoulder and 6-8 months in treatment.

9:30

Manuel Pasqual, still wondering how he's still a Fiorentina player arrives at training, having spent a majority of the morning with his psychotherapist.

10:00

Ramadani, having freshly risen from his coffin, arrives to speak about the well being of his client. Galliani watches with binoculars from the bushes.

11:05

The team works on free kicks. Ljajic curves one into the corner of the net. He runs under the curva yelling and celebrating.

11:06

Montella has to remind Ljajic that today's practice is closed door.

12:00

Lunch time. Gonzalo eats a churrasco, Borja has the paella, Facundo eats a wild boar that he killed with his own hands.

1:05

As Aquilani is leaving lunch he encounters a group of fans who want autographs and ask him to kiss a scarf. After he proceeds to do so he contracts tonsillitis and another 3 months out.

1:10

Mati Fernandez, fresh from pressing and ironing ADV's shirts asks Montella if he can finally have a position on the team now.

1:11

Mati starts painting the Franchi.

1:15

Rossi comes back to the field. To remind everyone he's from Jersey, he comes equipped with his own DJ and four cans of self tanner.

1:30

Montella tries a new formation. Gomez and Rossi are told they're going to be benched for the season to make way for Fiorentina's new starting attack duo: Prade and Macia.

1:45

As they're running, Pasqual accidently taps Ljajic on the back of the head. Having a traumatic flashback of Delio Rossi, he shakes on the ground in a fetal position for the next 45 minutes.

2:20

Olivera says he's not happy in Florence and wants to go somewhere else. Ramadani asks him if he already has a manager.

2:50

Montella comes up with a new strategy. Pass every ball to Borja, pray it goes somewhere useful.

3:35

The team practices penalty kicks. Montella gives Mati the chance to redeem himself. The ball goes 35 feet over the bar.

3:37

A man in Florence waiting for the bus is slammed to the ground when a ball comes out of nowhere.

4:32

Ambrosini goes to the bar to grab a coffee. When he comes out, a young boy scout helps him cross the street and makes sure he gets back to practice ok.

5:00

The practice ends, Ljajic and Cuadrado get ready to go back to the club, Ambrosini makes sure he doesn't miss the early bird special.

5:10

As they're leaving training, Pizarro accidently steps on Pasqual's foot. Red card and penalty for Milan.

10:00

Cuadrado and Ljajic make it to the club, they spot two blondes, Ljajic dribbles his way through the crowd while Cuadrado attempts to distract the one on the right.

10:15

Just when it seems to be going well, Neto shows up and blocks them both.

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